whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
