Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
