if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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