talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
