he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
