yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
