gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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