this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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