We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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