well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize