I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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