I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
