It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
