Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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