haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
