do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize