Me too!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
