So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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