get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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