we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
