You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't put those talents on a resume
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
