Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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