the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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