I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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