She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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