so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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