I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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