I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I booty called her while she was in labor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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