i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
