the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
