yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We talked him into tasing himself.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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