It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
