i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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