thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
