oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I party with great urgency now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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