ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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