Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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