i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
