Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
