I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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