birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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