If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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