So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
