We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
