All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
