We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
