I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
