We left an ass print on the piano.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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