Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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