Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
As shirtless as possible
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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