I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
