I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
