i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
