That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize