I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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