I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
