I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
