Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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