What a fucking waste of an outfit
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
