So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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